A recent report from the Maldives Telegraph: Groper Trains Accommodate a Variety of Tactile Preferences:
Building on the success of ladies-only train cars, and singles cars, and responding to complaints from those who felt excluded, a transit agency in Malé, Maldives announced a series of specialized train cars to accommodate a variety of tactile preferences.
To avoid complications, cars are designated by groper’s choice. Travelers will be required to chose whether to be a groper or a gropee, or neither. This will be marked on tickets.
Floors in many train cars will have a blue and pink checkerboard floor pattern to facilitate maximum gropage, where the be-groped (but not groping) are expected to stand on the pink tiles and gropers (but not be-groped) on the blue tiles, while those open to both groping and being groped are on the orange tiles, and those neither groping nor being groped stand on the green tiles. When asked if this was sexist, the agency said “No”.
It is hoped that cars will be evenly used.
Hans Pincher, spokesman for Friendly Hands, the groper advocacy organization, praised this new configuration, but noted sadly that Malé’s trains do not have 32 cars to accommodate all preferences for people who want to simultaneously grope and be groped without creating confusion.
The following table was published by the agency:
- M g M & ! W – 1
- M g W & ! M – 2
- M g M & W – 3
- M !g M | W – 4
- W g M & ! W – 5
- W g W & ! M – 6
- W g M & W – 7
- W !g M | W – 8
“M g M & ! W – 1” should be pronounced as “Men who want to grope Men (and not women) should use car 1. La-de-da.”
Legend:
M = Men
W = Women
g = grope
b = be groped
! = not
& = and
| = or
X = cannot be accommodatedPeople who choose to be gropees should use the following cars based on preference
- M b M, !W – 1, 3
- M b W, !M – 5, 7
- M b M & W – 1, 3, 5, or 7
- M !b M | W – 2, 4, 6 or 8
- W b M, !W – 2, 3
- W b W, !M – 6, 7
- W b M & W – 1, 3, 5, or 7
- W !b M | W – 1, 4, 5, or 8
David Levinson, Transportist 