A new Color Scheme for Public Transit

blues-tones copy
March 32, 2012
You may have heard recently of the decision of the
Metoopolitan Council to name all of the rail and express bus lines after colors. Not wanting to leave out the local bus routes, they made a decision to rename the bus lines after colors as well.
Therefore, bus routes that intersect with the newly named Blue line LRT will be named after shades of Blue. Some of the new routes are listed below:

  • Route 2 will now be referred to as the Sailor’s Delight line
  • Route 3 as Birds of a Feather
  • Route 5 as Midnight Clearing
  • Route 7 as Bluesday Afternoon

Similarly, all of the bus routes that feed the new Green Line LRT will be named after shades of Green.
These include the following changes:

  • Route 16 will now be referred to as Mr. Pistachio
  • Route 62 as Ribbet!
  • Route 65 as Lemony Lime
  • Route 87 as Cricket Hop Green

The Director of Interior Design at the Metoopolitan Council, Dr. Ronald “Dutch” Buoy, suggested that the system will aid navigability and reduce complexity associated with using buses. He also said that each bus will be repainted to indicate which line it will serve. He advised “Just look for the color of the bus that is going to your destination.” He further suggested “People don’t like numbers, Math is Hard!”
Critic of the decision, former Metoopolian Council Chair bell peters declared it was “Too Matchy-Matchy”.
Any routes that don’t intersect the LRT system will be discontinued once this system is deployed. And lines that intersect more than one LRT route will also be discontinued. “We aim to build a tree upon which the Twin Cities transit users can travel.” stated Metoopolitan Council director of Network Services Name Redacted. “It will also be easier to model, since there will be only one transfer point.”
We wish to learn the lesson of Transantiago and concentrate as much traffic on as few vehicles as possible. “Our plan is to just do this one day without notice, so as not to needlessly worry our customers.” the Metoopolitan Director of Public Relations suggested. People inconvenienced by the system are advised to change jobs to somewhere in downtown Minneapolis.
The press release did not include the full list of route changes. If you, my loyal Transportationistas, uncover any others, please post them to the comments section.

Ethical Ethanol

The Meetopolitan Council. Saint Paul. April 1, 2012
The Meetopolitan Council announced today the conversion of its entire bus and rail fleet to 100 percent pure Ethical Ethanol(™). Ethical Ethanol(™) is a type of ethanol that is carbon negative. All Ethical Ethanol is derived from plant stocks, usually corn, grown within 32.6 miles of its use.
The corn stalks are hand harvested by US citizens and wheel-barrowed to the nearest grain elevator. The wheel-barrows are made in northern Minnesota by indigenous wheel-barrow crafts-persons, using methods developed 600 years ago prior to the European colonization.
All corn is allowed to range free, no factory farms are admitted into the program. The corn is fed only locally-grown organic pork and beef waste, but is not permitted to be fertilized with waste products of older corn. This is intended to avoid Mad Corn Disease.
The advantages of Ethical Ethanol(™) are several. First it reduces electrical pollution resulting from electric vehicles and electric power generation. Second it guarantees Minnesota will not be subject to the vagaries of the international energy trade market.
To finance this conversion, an Ethical Ethanol(™) surcharge is being placed on all vehicle-vehicle transfers. This surcharge, a mere $4/transfer, is intended to help finance the conversion. Meeto Transit is also applying for a US Department of Energy grant to help pay for the conversion. “We are happy not to have to raise rates”, Council Chair Firebottom stated.
All vehicles which cannot be converted to Ethical Ethanol will instead be converted to fertilizer, as shown in the attached picture.

Image shows unconverted transit vehicles being converted to Ethical Ethanol fertilizer.